This is the one questions I hear more than any other question.
You loved with all of your heart and now things are broken. Without question it is painful, even devastating.
You may not be able to feel it now, but God does have a plan to restore and heal your broken heart.
In all my years of walking beside people the one thing that is always true is that restoration happens through God’s power and not your own.
How weary are you?
I’m convinced God whispers to us to let Him do the work in us, while waiting for us to stop trying to fix it on our own.
We are weary because we try to fix things without God.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and
humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matt 11:28-29
Do you believe God’s promises for you? Doesn’t your soul need some rest?
He did not say do more, buck up, get stronger, love better…He says come to Me. The King of the world who is humble and gentle. Don’t you just need someone who is going to be gentle with your broken pieces?
So how do we make the pain end? In two steps.
Step 1: Admit it
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
The word cast in our modern language means to toss or throw out. That means confess and tell God all of the yuck you are feeling or thinking. He knows it anyway, right?
You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know my thoughts before I think them. Psalm 139:2
If He knows, then why do we have to say it? Scripture is clear in Matthew 7:7-11 and John 15:4 that God desires a relationship with us. He has “good gifts” for us when we seek Him and we are able to experience “good fruit” if we remain in Him. Scripture says that “good fruit” is love, JOY, PEACE, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal 5:22-23). I don’t know about you, but I see joy and peace as the opposite of pain.
Step 2: Be Transformed
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
I cannot count how many times I have pleaded with people to “Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus” the author and perfecter of our FAITH (Heb 12:2). And what is faith? Faith is confidence in what we hope for and ASSURANCE about what we do not see (Heb 11:1).
THE ONLY WAY to make the pain end or to be “transformed” out of the pain is to renew your mind. This is in part because our feelings (that pain you “feel”) stem from our mind. When we not only remember, but stay focused on who Jesus is, what He has done for us and how powerful He is then the power of God perfects our faith.
So much easier said than done, until you remember that we can do ALL THINGS through Christ who gives us strength (Phil 4:3). Reach out if you need help. We were never meant to get through life on our own. Find a group for support through your church, get some counseling, join a supportive Facebook group or get a coach/mentor, but above all else get close to God by reading His words to you in the Bible. It will transform your life.